Darlings, friends, family, and the deadbeats who still owe me money,
I'd like to take this time to look back on 2008, and share with you some tidbits from my semi-glorious year.
Although I suffered big time in the recent crash of the market, I am determined to grit my newly capped molars, and smile my way through this gloomy and doomy time. I am a person of strong character, who has suffered her share of disaster, and yet can still crawl out of bed every new day and face diversity.
Actually, part of my strength comes from my newly diversified face. Yes, I shall come out of the closet and admit it..." I've had work done". You couldn't tell, could you?
Last year this time, I took a look at my pitiful Christmas bonus and decided to hit the pavement in search of a new career. Well, it's not easy for a lady of a certain age to get herself hired. I'm talented, have amazing people skills, and look good under fluorescent lights. However, in this youth obsessed culture we live in, all they want is baby fat!
Finally, I got hired as a receptionist at a chic little designer hotel for dogs and cats, The Fire-hydrant Plaza Hotel & Grooming Salon, Madison Avenue and Sixty Third. My co-workers were nice enough, but the customers were nothing but studs and bitches. Have you ever tried to reason with a French Poodle wearing Chanel # 5 and a diamond encrusted choke collar? ( the poodle, not me)
Anyway, I tucked my tail between my legs, and went back to my old job. Sadly, I don't think my boss even knew I'd been away.
However, we did have a pleasant enough office Christmas party yesterday. I had way too much eggnog and made goo-goo eyes at the UPS driver. She didn't seem to mind.
I guess it's time to turn the lights out and head home to my little fake tree, and worthless but reliable husband, Tumble Willis, Jr., and celebrate the Holiday as only we know how.
MEANWHILE, my boss, Kenny-the-Scrooge, did this doodle of film composer, ALEXANDRE DESPLAT for today's WSJ.
Your favorite fruitcake wishing you a HAPPY HOLIDAY, I remain,