Thursday, January 29, 2009

TRIXIE in a so RIGHT...

My peoples !

Being that I am a very spiritual person, I decided to join a group of like minded individuals. So, last Easter, I wandered into The Church of the Later Day Sales. Not only did they welcome me with open arms, but everyone admired my designer suit,gloves, shoes, and hat, made with genuine artificial flowers.

Spring ahead, and I've been asked to do missionary work amongst the filthy natives of such out-of-the-way South Sea islands, such as Tee Tee Boom Boom, Thong, Sunburn, Turtle Tongue, and Hackensack.

Since I already have a full time career, ( cough! cough!), I could only give of myself for three weeks. So, early this Sunday morning, I will board Bali Hai Airlines, Flight URXLax, and jet my way to Bora Bora.

Upon arrival, I will be greeted by his Holiness, King Tut Tut Tisk Tisk, and his band of merry guards. After a light breakfast, and quick visit to the powder room, I will board a small fishing vessel, and sail to the first forbidding island.

My mission is to try and reach out to the dirty locals, and hope to inspire them with my example. I want to teach them about make-up, proper hair care, and how to use a debit card, and that's just the men folk.

Please don't worry about me. Alas, I don't speak any of their funny languages, but I know how to communicate with my hands and eyebrows.

MEANWHILE, my boss, Kenny, did drawings of JOHN UPDIKE and KEITH JARRETT for WSJ this week. In other news, The Eudora Welty House, a museum at The University of Mississippi, Jackson, has included a drawing of Miss Welty by Kenny as part of their permanent exhibit.

Your favorite missionary on a mission, I remain,

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

TRIXIE goes to Washington...

My fellow citizens of the World,

I have decided to schlep down to Washington,D.C. this weekend, wave goodbye to my hero,G.W. Bush, and wave hello to our next leader-of-the-pack, Barack H. Obama. ( his middle name gives me heartburn, and besides, I can't spell it).

I love crowds. I love mob scenes. I love white sales, (oops...), and this weekend in Washington promises to deliver on all of the things I love.

However, EVERYTHING is booked. The only transportation available is a bus, making all local stops, and ending in Baltimore at some ungodly hour. I booked it, as I figure I can hitch a ride with some of the local illegal aliens.

The only housing I could manage was in the Non-Gay dorm at the Georgetown YMCA. It's a bit dreary, according to their website, but I'll only be there to snooze, so, I booked it.

Now, if I can locate some film for my Poloroid Instant camera, I'll be all set.

Do I live an exciting life, or what?

Speaking of dreary, my boss, Kenny, (who plans to watch the inauguration on his little black & white...oops, again!), did an ad for CNBC, plus a color drawing of the composer for the film,"SlumDog Millionaire", AR RAHMAN, some dude named FRANK MEYER, and patroness of the art & music world, BETTY FREEMAN.

I must go now and wash out my patriotic sweatsuit.

Your favorite political junkie, I remain,