My peoples !
Being that I am a very spiritual person, I decided to join a group of like minded individuals. So, last Easter, I wandered into The Church of the Later Day Sales. Not only did they welcome me with open arms, but everyone admired my designer suit,gloves, shoes, and hat, made with genuine artificial flowers.
Spring ahead, and I've been asked to do missionary work amongst the filthy natives of such out-of-the-way South Sea islands, such as Tee Tee Boom Boom, Thong, Sunburn, Turtle Tongue, and Hackensack.
Since I already have a full time career, ( cough! cough!), I could only give of myself for three weeks. So, early this Sunday morning, I will board Bali Hai Airlines, Flight URXLax, and jet my way to Bora Bora.
Upon arrival, I will be greeted by his Holiness, King Tut Tut Tisk Tisk, and his band of merry guards. After a light breakfast, and quick visit to the powder room, I will board a small fishing vessel, and sail to the first forbidding island.
My mission is to try and reach out to the dirty locals, and hope to inspire them with my example. I want to teach them about make-up, proper hair care, and how to use a debit card, and that's just the men folk.
Please don't worry about me. Alas, I don't speak any of their funny languages, but I know how to communicate with my hands and eyebrows.
MEANWHILE, my boss, Kenny, did drawings of JOHN UPDIKE and KEITH JARRETT for WSJ this week. In other news, The Eudora Welty House, a museum at The University of Mississippi, Jackson, has included a drawing of Miss Welty by Kenny as part of their permanent exhibit.
Your favorite missionary on a mission, I remain,