I don't know why I even bother buying lottery tickets. The gracious gods of good fortune have already blessed me with flawless skin, radiant hair, sparkling teeth, and a body to cause sailors to weep. Why should I expect more than my share of luck?
BECAUSE I'M GREEDY AND NEEDY...that's why!
So, I see on the news a story about this middle aged couple from some dinky town in Georgia that won the entire $270 Million, ( it's always in some dinky town, never in the metropolis where I hang).
I nearly had a fit when the hillbilly wife with too few teeth exclaimed, "Well, we is blessed, and we is happy, but it ain't gonna change us none, cause we is just plain folk. I myself is just too country."
Yeah, well, she could start by buying some new teeth, and a few lessons in speaking proper English couldn't hurt.
Oh, just let me win some of that loot. I'll get on the news and tell it like it is:
" Oh, baby, I feel like two hundred and seventy million dollars, and this *%#&@ money is gonna change my life...BIG TIME! I plan to change my name, my phone number, and move as far away from my loser friends and family as I possibly can!"
Well, I can dream, can't I ?
* two new doodles from Kenny's pen: BENNY GOODMAN & KIM JONG II