tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-91288254371038295272024-03-13T09:18:37.522-07:00Trixie and KennyTrixiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13111291127285934733noreply@blogger.comBlogger48125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9128825437103829527.post-78646742217009457632009-09-21T19:20:00.000-07:002009-09-21T19:24:15.748-07:00TRIXIE...trust me...<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWhqP6eqgeDNv1x8greUlKiXktOfXRPdqA8UTXeTDi-U0siDABAhh2LhXgn_s-bYalIjDpvjgzsKmM5SNQuSYaZqHU1znSZUetRPHuUIV8rLSwhOQfcVWuhRA65JVNQyUu3kPbkyv_K3Q/s1600-h/scan0002.jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 254px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5384111843772588754" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWhqP6eqgeDNv1x8greUlKiXktOfXRPdqA8UTXeTDi-U0siDABAhh2LhXgn_s-bYalIjDpvjgzsKmM5SNQuSYaZqHU1znSZUetRPHuUIV8rLSwhOQfcVWuhRA65JVNQyUu3kPbkyv_K3Q/s400/scan0002.jpg" /></a><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhe0QJ0iqBuhJwZGTZmDlSyi1pPL35Lh8a7jRt3rmVV3-XgPC-Pmnng3XNsH6-qCSBIyRw6QaGeIjxQ8wBVrLHqzo4tBxWfOlLUij3x86Z9N78l5k0_67ZZFK4h4Sip023ujua2e5xIB0s/s1600-h/scan0015.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 255px; FLOAT: right; HEIGHT: 320px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5384111671723282850" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhe0QJ0iqBuhJwZGTZmDlSyi1pPL35Lh8a7jRt3rmVV3-XgPC-Pmnng3XNsH6-qCSBIyRw6QaGeIjxQ8wBVrLHqzo4tBxWfOlLUij3x86Z9N78l5k0_67ZZFK4h4Sip023ujua2e5xIB0s/s320/scan0015.jpg" /></a><br /><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrAD5dkOiumPkQQgTZuul_k5t7_Rj2DMz8saFiyqF1uTQ-Y4kqhjrpjcc0dDzQJhR9V9gBgP56IrCLoHhMPkHl2zPT7LzMW6JZKFTdai4mhaaGlwyZct05tJGdMC6xEaxPclLuEtUUthE/s1600-h/scan0024.jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 224px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 320px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5384111480096886322" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrAD5dkOiumPkQQgTZuul_k5t7_Rj2DMz8saFiyqF1uTQ-Y4kqhjrpjcc0dDzQJhR9V9gBgP56IrCLoHhMPkHl2zPT7LzMW6JZKFTdai4mhaaGlwyZct05tJGdMC6xEaxPclLuEtUUthE/s320/scan0024.jpg" /></a><br /><br />Dearest UNinsured,<br /><br />Yes, it's true, I have been approached by several disreputable publishers, and a BOOK is in the works. So, here is a sample of my "creative writing"...just keep it to yourself, as I'd like to sell a few books...you know...<br /><br />You can trust TRIXIE when she says…<br /> <br />Never invite more than one left handed person to a sit down dinner, or just invite left handed people, as you don’t want to risk injuring your guests.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br />Remove all artificial fruit and fake candy from any room used during a party or meal.<br /> <br />Do not charge your guests for checking their coats, although any loose change found in pockets is yours to bank.<br /> <br />When guests seem determined to stay beyond a reasonable hour, bring in your old flatulent dog or elderly relative and encourage a game of charades.<br /> <br />When you find yourself perplexed by the multiple choices of eating utensils at a chic dining event, simply lower your eyes and glance from side to side, or stare straight ahead. Chances are in your favor that some fool at the table will know what they’re doing.<br /> <br />If you discover that there might not be enough food to feed your guests, go up to a selected few and whisper, “Is it me, or have you put on a few?”<br /> <br />If a fistfight breaks out after your guests have adjourned to the living room, encourage everyone to gather round, sing old school songs, and take bets.<br /> <br />If a guest at your table falls face forward into their soup, act calm and pretend that nothing is wrong, unless this behavior continues with the mashed potatoes and the chocolate mousse`.<br /> <br />Never grab hold of a serving dish and announce, “Is anyone going to eat this last piece of stuffed cabbage?” Just scrape it onto your plate and enjoy.<br /> <br />Table conversation should always be light and lively, as well as the background music. Discourage any talk of politics, religion, or medical procedures. Gossip, candlelight, and cool jazz are winning combinations.<br /> <br />If a guest arrives with uninvited children, serve them in the basement, or, weather permitting, in the garage.<br /> <br />When discovering that a guest has left most of the food on their plate, do not offer them a doggie bag or say, “So, you didn’t care for my cookin’, eh?”<br />Now...<br />while I was writing, my boss, Kenny, was drooling over the desk making doodles of ERROLL GARNER & IRVING KRISTOL for the WSJ, and a drawing of Patricia Arquette, Ugly Betty, the handsome actor from "Southland", BEN MC KENZIE, and ELIZA DUSHKA from "Dollhouse".<br /> <br />Your favorite stuffed cabbage, I remain,<br />TRIXIE<br /><br /><div></div></div></div>Trixiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13111291127285934733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9128825437103829527.post-65677052192140074662009-09-11T11:37:00.000-07:002009-09-11T11:39:47.378-07:00doodles...Frank Sinatra,Jr. & Yukio Hatoyama<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8DBv7gHf63Nmyhxu7FoMpk5rnAzgE5IoqSDeVs5T2KV_bjSFHLU8qWJ-ezB9lurBZ7XyKmckLvBwFZ7lbf7P7n7dh5_FGUxC9fJWwxITFNdCekE-4ebW_bkQs4aXqI0U_0kt3175ApY0/s1600-h/scan0025.jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 200px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 400px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5380281333554617794" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8DBv7gHf63Nmyhxu7FoMpk5rnAzgE5IoqSDeVs5T2KV_bjSFHLU8qWJ-ezB9lurBZ7XyKmckLvBwFZ7lbf7P7n7dh5_FGUxC9fJWwxITFNdCekE-4ebW_bkQs4aXqI0U_0kt3175ApY0/s400/scan0025.jpg" /></a><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCb5yGSJvL4GToRWct__cIs_NS6dAGYNQ46UmVJ6iL20ieTehrbnfvL_DQ9jcrTZwPb3-rfRkLDtL-0_dz0Kkdk74xJop089mykDbOISpnyS72gyfUT3fG-WCDcL2UyGpbxkjZFVpNLhU/s1600-h/scan0024.jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 367px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 400px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5380281217595671730" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCb5yGSJvL4GToRWct__cIs_NS6dAGYNQ46UmVJ6iL20ieTehrbnfvL_DQ9jcrTZwPb3-rfRkLDtL-0_dz0Kkdk74xJop089mykDbOISpnyS72gyfUT3fG-WCDcL2UyGpbxkjZFVpNLhU/s400/scan0024.jpg" /></a><br /><br /><div></div></div>Trixiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13111291127285934733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9128825437103829527.post-14614242204008961922009-09-08T19:33:00.000-07:002009-09-08T19:34:46.898-07:00SENATOR TED KENNEDY<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkgZJk8cmQ4arfPMFYKlmAcRxh9LSHlH6vnhYjqzPNhfSL63T7N_YRvZVskvsr0-rhCVhyphenhyphenTmVJZ7SPSeGshUmpA0EjpLY4V0MEPoYHGa3ZeMp5K1VOwrEshsrN3zYjgc2a5gmRJnOcBEg/s1600-h/scan0004.jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 274px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 400px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5379290515353923810" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkgZJk8cmQ4arfPMFYKlmAcRxh9LSHlH6vnhYjqzPNhfSL63T7N_YRvZVskvsr0-rhCVhyphenhyphenTmVJZ7SPSeGshUmpA0EjpLY4V0MEPoYHGa3ZeMp5K1VOwrEshsrN3zYjgc2a5gmRJnOcBEg/s400/scan0004.jpg" /></a><br /><div></div>Trixiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13111291127285934733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9128825437103829527.post-82995794935357993032009-08-27T09:29:00.000-07:002009-08-27T09:32:25.421-07:00TRIXIE is a co-payer...<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYJZ8UmjBp_RJr5sgmFfnEWNYPkHm4MTlw8v4w3FiTkC6N65PUIOizDpp2wQgrrY_oKlGJZriYhwQI_bln9LXdvc3v95ggeZKd6cN-C-2OU8FNW4hOTMiT8F04qDqNyqW4LMxrUK_YFRA/s1600-h/scan0024.jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 224px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 320px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5374682257850690402" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYJZ8UmjBp_RJr5sgmFfnEWNYPkHm4MTlw8v4w3FiTkC6N65PUIOizDpp2wQgrrY_oKlGJZriYhwQI_bln9LXdvc3v95ggeZKd6cN-C-2OU8FNW4hOTMiT8F04qDqNyqW4LMxrUK_YFRA/s320/scan0024.jpg" /></a><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxL1FPOrfxdabu4IbzecfkcxjJY7oWMIr9BlhSkG8WJw7GPjLV8be1eATZ3dUZW07brNN0lfJ1jwnzo8Wta729nOJgnz0cs2nXP5Jhk0EOcTW960tNwEYgMJxHE6zO1SriGM_98bTpux8/s1600-h/scan0004.jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 130px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 320px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5374682114882708338" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxL1FPOrfxdabu4IbzecfkcxjJY7oWMIr9BlhSkG8WJw7GPjLV8be1eATZ3dUZW07brNN0lfJ1jwnzo8Wta729nOJgnz0cs2nXP5Jhk0EOcTW960tNwEYgMJxHE6zO1SriGM_98bTpux8/s320/scan0004.jpg" /></a><br /><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjT0Sbm0Pb-AwJht6bJGeFFcFozUFjN5KlP468VJwWzWkl_HvAh_zDGOZxdRmw_owRUyJbXMhzAlQBM9w8p6edPe8ZbdZIIXUgpKkJN_0a8SkdqIfzZss0yTDh6hyPF5A1V-qqfNxhR9fA/s1600-h/scan0010.jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 230px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 320px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5374681947183559810" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjT0Sbm0Pb-AwJht6bJGeFFcFozUFjN5KlP468VJwWzWkl_HvAh_zDGOZxdRmw_owRUyJbXMhzAlQBM9w8p6edPe8ZbdZIIXUgpKkJN_0a8SkdqIfzZss0yTDh6hyPF5A1V-qqfNxhR9fA/s320/scan0010.jpg" /></a><br /><br /><br /><div><br />Fellow pill poppers,<br /><br />Are you as confused and bored by all the Health Care reform talk as I? Sick ! Sick ! Sick!, and getting sicker by the minute. All you need to do is take a trip to the nearest mall and glance around. Fat, ugly, and out-of-shape grotesqueries waddling around eating corndogs and taking up space.<br /><br />So, Obama wants to spend my taxes on keeping all of these skanky whales from keeling over? Puh-leeze, if these stretch marked heifers want to consume all of the deep fried major food groups, then let them pay the consequences on their own dime.<br /><br />And, in case you care, I am very happy with my insurance plan, The United Black & Blue Cross of New Jersey. They hardly ever pay for any procedures, but the calendar I get every Christmas is so useful.<br />Also, they keep costs low by using non English speaking operators from third world countries to handle all inquiries.<br /><br />My advice; eat a radish, do a push-up, and don’t get sick…period!<br /><br />And speaking of getting sick, my boss, Kenny, did some recent doodles of President Obama, the late President of South Korea, Kim Dae Jung, and Robert Novak, for the WSJ.<br /><br />Your favorite MRI, I remain,<br />TRIXIE<br /><br />***** BY-THE-WAY, if you were thinking of having Kenny do a caricature drawing of someone you love and adore for a Christmas/Holiday gift, please book EARLY, as he is old,slow, and lazy…and that’s on a GOOD day.<br />The fee is five hundred dollars a figure, ( oy! Vey!...you could buy them a used refrigerator). NO NUDES, as it’s too difficult to draw while laughing.</div></div></div>Trixiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13111291127285934733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9128825437103829527.post-80116967209962473112009-08-05T15:51:00.000-07:002009-08-05T15:53:17.423-07:00TRIXIE...wants it bad...<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEii7x-9v7QTzjJhj6EK7LK79npnPJeXV7qdwVGYXk60LysF24y0reovVjfCSNIGmpUS2vMoE8kmqWgK-D3Q89CfYIFXUJMIGcOt5SQoO1caZgiRznoC3dAPJp92tvInmJv-MeB2vExtZDs/s1600-h/scan0002.jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 320px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5366616521019342706" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEii7x-9v7QTzjJhj6EK7LK79npnPJeXV7qdwVGYXk60LysF24y0reovVjfCSNIGmpUS2vMoE8kmqWgK-D3Q89CfYIFXUJMIGcOt5SQoO1caZgiRznoC3dAPJp92tvInmJv-MeB2vExtZDs/s320/scan0002.jpg" /></a><br /><div>Beauties!<br /><br />It’s been said that your life can drastically change in seconds, and it’s true. Last week I was invited by a neighbor to attend a meeting for Voluptuanna Beauty Products, and before my fanny hit the couch, I became a new person.<br /><br />A bleached blonde, wearing far too much eyeliner, and a peach colored pants suit, got up and began chatting away in a thick middle European accent about how much money we could make selling overpriced makeup to bored housewives.<br /><br />Her name was Mitzi Maddoffski, and she smelled of money, and a very fruity perfume that made me sneeze. Her manner was a combination of Zsa Zsa Gabor and Dick Cheney.<br /><br />She did a powerpoint presentation with intriguing images of her many luxurious homes, cars, as well as photos of herself with the rich and famous.<br /><br />There were no photos of Mister Maddoffski. I just assumed he and the kids were out on the yacht the day the pictures were taken.<br /><br />Anyway, I wanted what she had, and I wanted it bad, so, I signed up.<br /><br />Now, I know that some, if not most of you could use a little paint and grease to help you look and feel your best, so, I am enclosing a short list of some of the products I am selling. Just check the items you want, send me your CC #, and I will get them to you ASAP, ( shipping NOT included…are you serious?)<br /><br />Voluptuanna Beauty Soap On A Rope…in apple, lemon, and new car scent.<br />a great gift idea for a special loved one serving time.<br /><br />Neptune’s Nectar Nipple Balm…a delicate cream, made from clam shell dust, fish scales, and whale saliva to help prevent the chaffing and pain from over starched blouses and rowdy infants.<br /><br />Perma Brow…comes with a stencil and easy to hold brush to assure an expressive eyebrow that will never fade, even if you do.<br /><br />Lesbo Lip Glow…a new idea in unisex beauty, when applied to the lips of women, men, or in between, promises that moist and natural look to the mouth as Mother Nature intended, if only she had any imagination.<br /><br />Get A Grip…deodorant , anti-perspirant, & oven cleaner. A product designed for the active, forgetful, and careless woman of today. You never need to worry about people turning up their noses in your direction. Get A Grip lasts and lasts….and lasts….<br /><br />Winky Dinky…a new aerodynamic artificial eyelash for the modern woman, designed to lift the eyelid, as well as the face, when everything else about you is dragging the floor. Now, when you wink, people all around will feel a soft breeze.<br /><br />So, while you’re filling out your order forms, take a moment to glance at my boss, Kenny’s current doodle of MENDELSSOHN, MEYERBEER, & WAGNER in today’s WSJ.<br /><br />Your favorite beauty spot, I remain,<br /><br />TRIXIE</div>Trixiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13111291127285934733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9128825437103829527.post-36648560110991798802009-07-24T13:34:00.001-07:002009-07-24T13:36:49.851-07:00TRIXIE...tried & true<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlZFYu8EVWn4d4__-ocizKwTDFiGLNTNDkUaVTVeOVscaUlCy-VJh2Et_o6rZK-ahUeCt9L88yFAR63u6jfjrgnlPZIo8bw0XmOd2yzBDpgRvrsqhjwkXnQFXy8RuNwQN40XYxdAFY8_4/s1600-h/scan0007.jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 150px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 320px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5362128363125310050" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlZFYu8EVWn4d4__-ocizKwTDFiGLNTNDkUaVTVeOVscaUlCy-VJh2Et_o6rZK-ahUeCt9L88yFAR63u6jfjrgnlPZIo8bw0XmOd2yzBDpgRvrsqhjwkXnQFXy8RuNwQN40XYxdAFY8_4/s320/scan0007.jpg" /></a><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-DnRROBcKiXHewg0To4ZI8jc9PrFFW2OunhsgRWa76DlYVvJ-YJZw45ALnAeFDRozIhOyy4VdsdouyJ2BHDztkHZG-kPelZ2tp9YWZxjqvJw_ZD2ybaPUH6PaI8mQeHjhEb2ut3C1dQ0/s1600-h/scan0003.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 283px; FLOAT: right; HEIGHT: 320px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5362128197820684114" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-DnRROBcKiXHewg0To4ZI8jc9PrFFW2OunhsgRWa76DlYVvJ-YJZw45ALnAeFDRozIhOyy4VdsdouyJ2BHDztkHZG-kPelZ2tp9YWZxjqvJw_ZD2ybaPUH6PaI8mQeHjhEb2ut3C1dQ0/s320/scan0003.jpg" /></a><br /><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-FHhrrfjZKT9iil_XJnUp0_eVFT5-hJACe2wOiYhimaHJqJgbbWTTgZEuJNZ-fjDZGqPzer7_aKP9e1o99OeTIEtANuZ8UmvqXf5qmJwSCnLsFD6dEkWgCWTBXeoBa1MFDi-GlvEOlgc/s1600-h/scan0010.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 241px; FLOAT: right; HEIGHT: 320px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5362128009263933298" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-FHhrrfjZKT9iil_XJnUp0_eVFT5-hJACe2wOiYhimaHJqJgbbWTTgZEuJNZ-fjDZGqPzer7_aKP9e1o99OeTIEtANuZ8UmvqXf5qmJwSCnLsFD6dEkWgCWTBXeoBa1MFDi-GlvEOlgc/s320/scan0010.jpg" /></a><br /><br /><br /><div><br />Survivors!<br /><br />Even though the stock market hit an up bump yesterday, I'm still struggling with my own sluggish economy. Trying to economize and still retain some semblance of a quality lifestyle is indeed a challenge for this good time girl.<br /><br />Last week I bought an old GirlScout uniform at a flea market. So, with a few buttons moved, and some creative stitching I was able to get it on. Now, on my lunch break, I head over to 42nd Street and take cookie orders from gullible tourist.<br /><br />O.k., I pocket the cash and those suckers will never see my cookies. They're all way too fat anyway. I'm doing them a favor. So, now they can go back to wherever they came from and say, " I was ripped off in NYC by a sweet Girl Scout with a plunging neckline!"<br /><br />Speaking of sluggish, my boss, Kenny, has hit a new low by turning our office bathroom into a PAY TOILET ! Good thing my desk is next to a window.<br /><br />MEANWHILE, I suppose you'd like to see some of his latest doodles: ALAN CARLIN, the energy guy, ROBERT MCNAMARA, FRANK MC COURT, and PRES. OBAMA as ARISTOTLE.<br /><br />So, if any of you want some Chocolate Thin Mints, you know how to reach me.<br /><br />Your favorite flavor, I remain,<br /><br />TRIXIE</div></div></div>Trixiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13111291127285934733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9128825437103829527.post-53659235564591323872009-03-28T10:47:00.000-07:002009-03-28T10:49:53.074-07:00<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWbFKrnNbEcI5VneKOG2DDy7te4QkgZfQQWbzw5b73k4fvs_-QEx6MyvHkuXHdw72bVFfcZPykghKgLdmlhmu1RlCWPfa-f1Fv6aIGWoM2AXns7Keb4ngvJiF6gOi7CdL8ItpTrgC196w/s1600-h/scan0025.jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 200px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 320px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5318297200047630114" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWbFKrnNbEcI5VneKOG2DDy7te4QkgZfQQWbzw5b73k4fvs_-QEx6MyvHkuXHdw72bVFfcZPykghKgLdmlhmu1RlCWPfa-f1Fv6aIGWoM2AXns7Keb4ngvJiF6gOi7CdL8ItpTrgC196w/s320/scan0025.jpg" /></a><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJjq6D_abJPy0OJt7asNsq6fPpVlw1hrWBcNzAeT1Y0U2H5qnT19ojwv6lF7xONFGKschVDMuXffmHS4bBzSZlZ3b0txza2Yj7F59k0qqQ8FyF1XxKHc2StUPhESjXWLOkQEg_UYE2e2I/s1600-h/scan0005.jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 184px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 320px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5318297078134904706" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJjq6D_abJPy0OJt7asNsq6fPpVlw1hrWBcNzAeT1Y0U2H5qnT19ojwv6lF7xONFGKschVDMuXffmHS4bBzSZlZ3b0txza2Yj7F59k0qqQ8FyF1XxKHc2StUPhESjXWLOkQEg_UYE2e2I/s320/scan0005.jpg" /></a><br /><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLz8zeIgiopG-zdXMKbs6CKJHXX8dpEdNrkNnWjv0muS6sDjaD7neQ5HqhHRgyzV0UE3qlRn2Hdjfh7tMpbOVoHU3IhW9BQnVqjI2PRDfQCvhrDx_gY7a9sdOPlb1QU1CWpOYkhJCoZRM/s1600-h/scan0001.jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 240px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 320px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5318296931839588114" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLz8zeIgiopG-zdXMKbs6CKJHXX8dpEdNrkNnWjv0muS6sDjaD7neQ5HqhHRgyzV0UE3qlRn2Hdjfh7tMpbOVoHU3IhW9BQnVqjI2PRDfQCvhrDx_gY7a9sdOPlb1QU1CWpOYkhJCoZRM/s320/scan0001.jpg" /></a><br /><br /><br /><div></div></div></div>Trixiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13111291127285934733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9128825437103829527.post-43507008367238062262009-03-09T16:58:00.001-07:002009-03-09T17:02:30.739-07:00TRIXIE...way down under...<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiL13_T6_InUgfLPuTLh0th-NaHF8L-EwNlLnIR55dERukzgMeJSIuALoN2-j26ttTaY697taKMIPxsQH_XqG6Icfe-B0AxYW7HyOR40B6GJ_srNFxF8Z-zxzOsRB7-U6RpByziy6z45VY/s1600-h/scan0005.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5311342673960539826" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 256px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiL13_T6_InUgfLPuTLh0th-NaHF8L-EwNlLnIR55dERukzgMeJSIuALoN2-j26ttTaY697taKMIPxsQH_XqG6Icfe-B0AxYW7HyOR40B6GJ_srNFxF8Z-zxzOsRB7-U6RpByziy6z45VY/s320/scan0005.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivlvL4dDKmTE7-MRx9zmTOJSRgf4KysoH8RlsZBEkNe0MP5dBOF9TrK9NbiIvENAYfPH0H5XC6OrP5wf7pNVE7XjBVywfQXwWN7Ox17ebehJmafKzcHrwXsDo0XvKrBq_iCqkwEPL1ibY/s1600-h/scan0009.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5311342185278398018" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 300px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivlvL4dDKmTE7-MRx9zmTOJSRgf4KysoH8RlsZBEkNe0MP5dBOF9TrK9NbiIvENAYfPH0H5XC6OrP5wf7pNVE7XjBVywfQXwWN7Ox17ebehJmafKzcHrwXsDo0XvKrBq_iCqkwEPL1ibY/s320/scan0009.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjD48aKOwdn5iLBkmvwEFioLJ4W7BBTcFjdlR9du07t18L_tj7J0wh0-fUr2twKMyh5xDsjqUtRJMW5TpqY-Yk3MiJuSoGIyCXW7IBIhCerPmmdhplYjCVJNQl5QzB3pXcc8IzVOS8UvdM/s1600-h/scan0004.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5311342043287374818" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 266px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjD48aKOwdn5iLBkmvwEFioLJ4W7BBTcFjdlR9du07t18L_tj7J0wh0-fUr2twKMyh5xDsjqUtRJMW5TpqY-Yk3MiJuSoGIyCXW7IBIhCerPmmdhplYjCVJNQl5QzB3pXcc8IzVOS8UvdM/s320/scan0004.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRQA_cGvo7uweYK5FN2cKibob4i-AO47ar75Ui68A1hlVXNh4uRaH5SxTuByBMX6of_DhutHvC4bHij9k4GazmBSlhL1UBc4i4JEU50lU5lic0jeViqyV41aa5XyrJosP57tP9RFzSblM/s1600-h/scan0002.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5311341850709543538" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 274px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRQA_cGvo7uweYK5FN2cKibob4i-AO47ar75Ui68A1hlVXNh4uRaH5SxTuByBMX6of_DhutHvC4bHij9k4GazmBSlhL1UBc4i4JEU50lU5lic0jeViqyV41aa5XyrJosP57tP9RFzSblM/s320/scan0002.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><div><br />Leechie Nuts!<br /><br />I have returned from my thrilling adventure in the South Seas, and I'm tan, toned, and taut.<br /><br />It was exciting, really, as I took in the sights, smells, and sounds of these tiny little islands on the edge of civilization. You witness these remote places, and you realize how far we've come, or not.<br /><br />Of course I was a big hit with the local natives. They could only marvel at the way I applied my slightly natural looking make up, the way I wore exotic colors to match my moods, and the fake DKNY pocketbooks I sported. You would think, by their childlike giggles, that the invention of nail polish was as important as penicillin!<br /><br />Tattoos are very big, at least among the men. Major body parts are covered in detailed designs, none of which I could understand. However, I made a point of lowering my fuscia cargo pants to show them my body art. A lovely red heart on my left buttock, with the inscription, " YOU ARE HERE".<br /><br />Speaking of minor body parts, my boss, Kenny, is still showing up at the drawing table, when he's not eating or sleeping. His most recent doodles include, RICHARD ARMSTRONG, the new head of the Guggenheim Museum, PRESIDENT OBAMA, BLAKE EDWARDS, and the late playwright, HORTON FOOTE.<br /><br />Your favorite pu-pu platter, I remain,<br /><br />Trixie</div></div></div></div>Trixiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13111291127285934733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9128825437103829527.post-54402499423530246582009-01-29T08:03:00.000-08:002009-01-29T08:06:43.338-08:00TRIXIE in a sarong...is so RIGHT...<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfT_ADfDrUyRcMrt8tWuIqFDm10i0O_9JonC5pAGNmjDE53m4rCCrNJmZPY9JSpiStdi9ZfL6iy2FWc3c68WJUhnQo8kTtD7Y-ox6H8Q-gTZzSqwwRdC9zc5FoMy7e6tqhRuxq-MR8Q9o/s1600-h/scan0003.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5296747745490801506" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 224px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfT_ADfDrUyRcMrt8tWuIqFDm10i0O_9JonC5pAGNmjDE53m4rCCrNJmZPY9JSpiStdi9ZfL6iy2FWc3c68WJUhnQo8kTtD7Y-ox6H8Q-gTZzSqwwRdC9zc5FoMy7e6tqhRuxq-MR8Q9o/s320/scan0003.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlu8TkBsU3mqnyoEGv8SEyakpJFtvL6E4rGPAeauwp1JLpos2DSzP3Tlei4bltzKQNVMI5Ks3cdMFqOq6p1xnVOvfcgZsxyNEyzeCSRuFKIrIZxWgc9U2PI8rZUN3hcQjV83gNnFuXeyY/s1600-h/scan0002.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5296747579078913938" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 228px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlu8TkBsU3mqnyoEGv8SEyakpJFtvL6E4rGPAeauwp1JLpos2DSzP3Tlei4bltzKQNVMI5Ks3cdMFqOq6p1xnVOvfcgZsxyNEyzeCSRuFKIrIZxWgc9U2PI8rZUN3hcQjV83gNnFuXeyY/s320/scan0002.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-OfWjwwhQAJTAVtS8AyOD0k0VqiFV1u22-PpYROhdRT9saEBgkxvsa9jpygt0ZMkvM7FTnCI9vN1BoUSRUfdXSQ_ltXgJ_P3ZPxQXs_5yrxaNtEHTuKUXwVbAgI3il-68htMCGo79qLo/s1600-h/scan0004.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5296747425892973458" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 194px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-OfWjwwhQAJTAVtS8AyOD0k0VqiFV1u22-PpYROhdRT9saEBgkxvsa9jpygt0ZMkvM7FTnCI9vN1BoUSRUfdXSQ_ltXgJ_P3ZPxQXs_5yrxaNtEHTuKUXwVbAgI3il-68htMCGo79qLo/s320/scan0004.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><div><br />My peoples !<br /><br />Being that I am a very spiritual person, I decided to join a group of like minded individuals. So, last Easter, I wandered into The Church of the Later Day Sales. Not only did they welcome me with open arms, but everyone admired my designer suit,gloves, shoes, and hat, made with genuine artificial flowers.<br /><br />Spring ahead, and I've been asked to do missionary work amongst the filthy natives of such out-of-the-way South Sea islands, such as Tee Tee Boom Boom, Thong, Sunburn, Turtle Tongue, and Hackensack.<br /><br />Since I already have a full time career, ( cough! cough!), I could only give of myself for three weeks. So, early this Sunday morning, I will board Bali Hai Airlines, Flight URXLax, and jet my way to Bora Bora.<br /><br />Upon arrival, I will be greeted by his Holiness, King Tut Tut Tisk Tisk, and his band of merry guards. After a light breakfast, and quick visit to the powder room, I will board a small fishing vessel, and sail to the first forbidding island.<br /><br />My mission is to try and reach out to the dirty locals, and hope to inspire them with my example. I want to teach them about make-up, proper hair care, and how to use a debit card, and that's just the men folk.<br /><br />Please don't worry about me. Alas, I don't speak any of their funny languages, but I know how to communicate with my hands and eyebrows.<br /><br />MEANWHILE, my boss, Kenny, did drawings of JOHN UPDIKE and KEITH JARRETT for WSJ this week. In other news, The Eudora Welty House, a museum at The University of Mississippi, Jackson, has included a drawing of Miss Welty by Kenny as part of their permanent exhibit.<br /><br />Your favorite missionary on a mission, I remain,<br />Trixie</div></div></div>Trixiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13111291127285934733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9128825437103829527.post-71342674097203759692009-01-14T18:42:00.000-08:002009-01-14T18:46:58.421-08:00TRIXIE goes to Washington...<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6wIjaz9WYhjzOBoRro7dlpK6cx7u4FFB8enWCIrU-2b7yl2WRIC3DbSFmjPXfk8G1BGiDrpP4Zbb89y9BLBvVzOZvKwUPW_1YMO2HPvBPCgHitUBwQWOQL5V6FVGsrisxUEMpfok1IEg/s1600-h/scan0005.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5291346373682162034" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 134px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6wIjaz9WYhjzOBoRro7dlpK6cx7u4FFB8enWCIrU-2b7yl2WRIC3DbSFmjPXfk8G1BGiDrpP4Zbb89y9BLBvVzOZvKwUPW_1YMO2HPvBPCgHitUBwQWOQL5V6FVGsrisxUEMpfok1IEg/s320/scan0005.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeB8zXnKMuQ4h7em025QGYzNq0RFeN0SRvlXW7wRVX346Dn7vMDV_0MIkDakWP-m7UOIg3Qd6c42E1aIliRFLpMepFUnUECKS_sOgKscnFvoc4I6Fw8rWJTVUp-fhXzIsoMnblVU7v1Ic/s1600-h/scan0002.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5291346233446429474" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 166px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeB8zXnKMuQ4h7em025QGYzNq0RFeN0SRvlXW7wRVX346Dn7vMDV_0MIkDakWP-m7UOIg3Qd6c42E1aIliRFLpMepFUnUECKS_sOgKscnFvoc4I6Fw8rWJTVUp-fhXzIsoMnblVU7v1Ic/s320/scan0002.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUcLRbMLBEwzilAsqCuuaMDM9WHS-YuZYHgt81YrzxFQktnQaRLzdwxxPgMTs_mRS51_HNDxs90_g-mYPAuoIBRw6XRWSYtJY_pc88gIOr986JccB9qhRSOb4UrzhgVBBJR0Oq7_z10oc/s1600-h/scan0004.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5291346039985021154" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 198px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUcLRbMLBEwzilAsqCuuaMDM9WHS-YuZYHgt81YrzxFQktnQaRLzdwxxPgMTs_mRS51_HNDxs90_g-mYPAuoIBRw6XRWSYtJY_pc88gIOr986JccB9qhRSOb4UrzhgVBBJR0Oq7_z10oc/s320/scan0004.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0wMWGaG0ih8E4yMHN9CWulvNGmAkdWBBv4mTzT5C7OQCxnVC935dzjBv_qVPh5xznc8XIMdHNDoSqemrm8YvyPPjXKJBzCh2d8XTcpDBzKEVvp10WHExapdZi1Ymn4Za-eXGySmLgdYc/s1600-h/scan0022.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5291345826418686178" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 176px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0wMWGaG0ih8E4yMHN9CWulvNGmAkdWBBv4mTzT5C7OQCxnVC935dzjBv_qVPh5xznc8XIMdHNDoSqemrm8YvyPPjXKJBzCh2d8XTcpDBzKEVvp10WHExapdZi1Ymn4Za-eXGySmLgdYc/s320/scan0022.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><div><br />My fellow citizens of the World,<br /><br />I have decided to schlep down to Washington,D.C. this weekend, wave goodbye to my hero,G.W. Bush, and wave hello to our next leader-of-the-pack, Barack H. Obama. ( his middle name gives me heartburn, and besides, I can't spell it).<br /><br />I love crowds. I love mob scenes. I love white sales, (oops...), and this weekend in Washington promises to deliver on all of the things I love.<br /><br />However, EVERYTHING is booked. The only transportation available is a bus, making all local stops, and ending in Baltimore at some ungodly hour. I booked it, as I figure I can hitch a ride with some of the local illegal aliens.<br /><br />The only housing I could manage was in the Non-Gay dorm at the Georgetown YMCA. It's a bit dreary, according to their website, but I'll only be there to snooze, so, I booked it.<br /><br />Now, if I can locate some film for my Poloroid Instant camera, I'll be all set.<br /><br />Do I live an exciting life, or what?<br /><br />Speaking of dreary, my boss, Kenny, (who plans to watch the inauguration on his little black & white...oops, again!), did an ad for CNBC, plus a color drawing of the composer for the film,"SlumDog Millionaire", AR RAHMAN, some dude named FRANK MEYER, and patroness of the art & music world, BETTY FREEMAN.<br /><br />I must go now and wash out my patriotic sweatsuit.<br /><br />Your favorite political junkie, I remain,<br /><br />Trixie</div></div></div></div>Trixiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13111291127285934733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9128825437103829527.post-14087324091135596842008-12-25T07:41:00.000-08:002008-12-25T07:43:01.754-08:00TRIXIE...looks back...<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjl5RHP4YPP7hdtCFN3iCL6d3nN1MzCVtkgMEyfY-lgnXVYg3TIHdT4lqTfsK27noiJjJz9eIyYWXiFVH80_xeLNNNTAcuyS41qvWLj6oeh3EOK1jRfgrLFy4NvxdYyUJyBLmJS47Kha8E/s1600-h/scan0002.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5283753687454390450" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 280px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjl5RHP4YPP7hdtCFN3iCL6d3nN1MzCVtkgMEyfY-lgnXVYg3TIHdT4lqTfsK27noiJjJz9eIyYWXiFVH80_xeLNNNTAcuyS41qvWLj6oeh3EOK1jRfgrLFy4NvxdYyUJyBLmJS47Kha8E/s320/scan0002.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><br />Darlings, friends, family, and the deadbeats who still owe me money,<br /><br />I'd like to take this time to look back on 2008, and share with you some tidbits from my semi-glorious year.<br /><br />Although I suffered big time in the recent crash of the market, I am determined to grit my newly capped molars, and smile my way through this gloomy and doomy time. I am a person of strong character, who has suffered her share of disaster, and yet can still crawl out of bed every new day and face diversity.<br /><br />Actually, part of my strength comes from my newly diversified face. Yes, I shall come out of the closet and admit it..." I've had work done". You couldn't tell, could you?<br /><br />Last year this time, I took a look at my pitiful Christmas bonus and decided to hit the pavement in search of a new career. Well, it's not easy for a lady of a certain age to get herself hired. I'm talented, have amazing people skills, and look good under fluorescent lights. However, in this youth obsessed culture we live in, all they want is baby fat!<br /><br />Finally, I got hired as a receptionist at a chic little designer hotel for dogs and cats, The Fire-hydrant Plaza Hotel & Grooming Salon, Madison Avenue and Sixty Third. My co-workers were nice enough, but the customers were nothing but studs and bitches. Have you ever tried to reason with a French Poodle wearing Chanel # 5 and a diamond encrusted choke collar? ( the poodle, not me)<br /><br />Anyway, I tucked my tail between my legs, and went back to my old job. Sadly, I don't think my boss even knew I'd been away.<br /><br />However, we did have a pleasant enough office Christmas party yesterday. I had way too much eggnog and made goo-goo eyes at the UPS driver. She didn't seem to mind.<br /><br />I guess it's time to turn the lights out and head home to my little fake tree, and worthless but reliable husband, Tumble Willis, Jr., and celebrate the Holiday as only we know how.<br /><br />MEANWHILE, my boss, Kenny-the-Scrooge, did this doodle of film composer, ALEXANDRE DESPLAT for today's WSJ.<br /><br />Your favorite fruitcake wishing you a HAPPY HOLIDAY, I remain,<br /><br />Trixie</div>Trixiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13111291127285934733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9128825437103829527.post-17089758679704293432008-11-17T19:15:00.001-08:002008-11-17T19:17:22.732-08:00TRIXIE falls off the fence...<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVvUGNrS3Jyu2W-hu5OXwEeSOTzsG18AJvvJHYN0UuAP9AiSGV51VIR_Bd8SgAlZsOJqtFtgMJTgHeO3fQvOvzUAHXGPimwa1cFPJ-SlBrfVvA0QfVbPCwYnQFcayRokVSOjXWywMePGA/s1600-h/scan0009.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5269831365963837538" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 264px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVvUGNrS3Jyu2W-hu5OXwEeSOTzsG18AJvvJHYN0UuAP9AiSGV51VIR_Bd8SgAlZsOJqtFtgMJTgHeO3fQvOvzUAHXGPimwa1cFPJ-SlBrfVvA0QfVbPCwYnQFcayRokVSOjXWywMePGA/s320/scan0009.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJs3kZnmOe9e83uDFJF2CySO5Uy0l9YF3M3PIba66FYsrg5bPblTKfkHfiHuLFex2ZZT0A6lPOC3eJfVrxMkRW51J86Ta-m00EZvnnu__wIayUVPNJpi1eIik0e5UUp1UlHhwVcjYALCY/s1600-h/scan0004.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5269831201764038466" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 201px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJs3kZnmOe9e83uDFJF2CySO5Uy0l9YF3M3PIba66FYsrg5bPblTKfkHfiHuLFex2ZZT0A6lPOC3eJfVrxMkRW51J86Ta-m00EZvnnu__wIayUVPNJpi1eIik0e5UUp1UlHhwVcjYALCY/s320/scan0004.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><div>Dolls !<br /><br />Is it me, or is the world going to hell in a handbasket?<br /><br />I mean ,really, there is actually a question on whether gays and lesbians should have the right to get married? What kind of question is that? Don't be stupid, my darlings, letting the gays get married will only mess it up for all the rest of us.<br />If this were allowed,can you imagine trying to book a caterer or reserve a church during the month of June?<br /><br />I don't know about you, but I'm already overwhelmed with giving gifts to all of my useless relatives. I can't afford to buy wedding presents for all of my gay friends, ( and you know how picky and snooty those homos can be? It's gotta be designer this and designer that!)<br /><br />If you ask me, it's all a Communist plot. All of the really gorgeous men are gay, and if we let them marry each other, well, who will be left for our daughters?<br /><br />And don't get me started on letting gays in the military. As the good book says,<br />"Lead them NOT into temptation".<br /><br />Speaking of the good book, my boss, Kenny, ( who wouldn't know a good book if it fell off the shelf), did two doodles in the WSJ last week. One is of the jazz musician, DON BYRON, and then one of NANCY PELOSI.<br /><br />Your favorite positive influence, I remain,<br /><br />Trixie</div></div>Trixiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13111291127285934733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9128825437103829527.post-12816633265860212762008-11-06T13:50:00.001-08:002008-11-06T13:51:06.458-08:00TRIXIE...aglow...<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnH9HyN1MG0MxG8jpeXGCpPEuY5denFd64DVwQVEgguTmTRo_rubWxrBh7XjR1dc2eJinZDKaf2j0zgVqVLpphT-dDaDukdmF9FBUpoW7_9tKzU2CYKspWmjRImBvZpVK6uh5q4psw7x4/s1600-h/scan0007.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5265665358241330002" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 319px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnH9HyN1MG0MxG8jpeXGCpPEuY5denFd64DVwQVEgguTmTRo_rubWxrBh7XjR1dc2eJinZDKaf2j0zgVqVLpphT-dDaDukdmF9FBUpoW7_9tKzU2CYKspWmjRImBvZpVK6uh5q4psw7x4/s400/scan0007.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div>Dearest Dear Ones,<br /><br />Halloweenie is over, the Election is done, and as I search through my makeup case for the turkey baster, I gaze out the window and see my neighbor, Toots Rodriguez, putting up her outrageous Christmas decorations.<br /><br />We have a strict set of regulations for exterior ornamentation of one’s private abode here at the Black Lagoon Trailer Park and Miniature Golf Course, and Toots has broken all of them.<br /><br />I am, naturally, a woman of taste and refinement. You would never see me setting up a manger next to a Pamela Anderson blow up doll, dressed as “Mrs. Santa”, or substituting the three wise men with figurines of Larry, Moe, and Curly.<br /><br />Of course I shouldn’t complain about all of the tacky light fixtures she places around her holiday display. The glow is so strong that I never need to turn on a light till after ground hog day.<br /><br />Speaking of glowing, my simple minded boss, Kenny, did a doodle of Obama and McCain for last weeks WSJ.<br /><br />Your favorite piece of tinsel, I remain,<br /><br />Trixie</div>Trixiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13111291127285934733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9128825437103829527.post-19256869738883292012008-10-28T11:54:00.000-07:002008-10-28T11:56:04.533-07:00TRIXIE endorses...<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBvVR_2PiO9xZU4JB4qu2BM7bKm9ddxcDFTyEzKtZxv-M3SrX6qIY0XYh6gtJMGdmkAkM5dbMmEaC5H0eZO_Rv0NTklJ9AwzICd9rIR-8O8-642nt3uzdzwykozsiJsBUjiMBYynrZRGo/s1600-h/scan0002.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5262280458584522402" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 336px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBvVR_2PiO9xZU4JB4qu2BM7bKm9ddxcDFTyEzKtZxv-M3SrX6qIY0XYh6gtJMGdmkAkM5dbMmEaC5H0eZO_Rv0NTklJ9AwzICd9rIR-8O8-642nt3uzdzwykozsiJsBUjiMBYynrZRGo/s400/scan0002.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><br />MY FELLOW AMERICANS !<br /><br />Who are these "undecided" voters? I am never undecided about anything, and have very little patience with those who are. In fact, I've already decided what I will order for dinner next Thursday...meatloaf.<br /><br />Be that as it may, I have decided to announce my endorsement for President, just in case any of you are of the hopelessly pathetic "undecided".<br /><br />I,Trixie LaFarge, age 39, lot B-12, The Black Lagoon Trailer Park & Miniature Golf Course, Pig's Foot, New Jersey, hereby endorse JOHN PATRICK MCCAINE for President of the United States.<br /><br />What can I say? He reminds me of my Dad. He is old, hateful, and will leave your mama for a younger thing at the drop of a hat. Sure, that's rough, but it builds character. McCaine will watch out for America the way he watched out for his first wife. If America has an accident and get's a bit overweight, He will dump us and hitch up to a younger, prettier, and richer nation.<br />We would all benefit.<br /><br />Obama is way too smart for me. How can I relate to him? He's too impressive, and that scares me. Bush never impressed me. I felt very comfortable with George W. I like a President I can relate to. ( and vice versa!)<br /><br />If mcCaine croaks, and Sarah Lee Palin takes the throne, well, once again I'll feel safe and comfy.<br /><br />Now, let's not let politics cause a rift in our relationship. I'll still love you, even if you're a socialist/commie/liberal, it just won't be easy.<br /><br />Meanwhile, my pinko/stinko boss, Kenny, did a drawing of actress, ELISABETH MOSS, for the WSJ.<br /><br />Remember, vote early and often !<br /><br />Trixie</div>Trixiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13111291127285934733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9128825437103829527.post-41976477511643283792008-10-17T15:17:00.000-07:002008-10-17T15:19:03.655-07:00TRIXIE...smokin' !!!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7yfZV_EmoBaQf1m_o28Y_w8JylKNFFPHuD3VCKA4TWuAcYXAe4Vz7axnRacZ_Y41HNFZi3L-y-Ghj58UizyC1UW0nnkftucC5Zh7VM5PMrowShXipKq9mShxAarj05pJn1I-fqqtOi4U/s1600-h/scan0004.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5258250824481387282" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7yfZV_EmoBaQf1m_o28Y_w8JylKNFFPHuD3VCKA4TWuAcYXAe4Vz7axnRacZ_Y41HNFZi3L-y-Ghj58UizyC1UW0nnkftucC5Zh7VM5PMrowShXipKq9mShxAarj05pJn1I-fqqtOi4U/s400/scan0004.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><br />Dear Ones,<br /><br />This is my favorite time of the year, except when I start to sniff the scent of burning leaves, which reminds me of how much I miss smoking.<br /><br />Yeah, I quit my three pack a day habit, because I ran out of places I could actually light up without being harassed, booed, tormented, or mugged.<br /><br />Smoking was fun, it was cool, and it gave me something to do with my expressive hands.<br />It felt so chic and sexy to place a filter-tip between my lips and have some suave gentleman or ruddy faced sailor whip out a lighter and share his flame.<br /><br />I began smoking in the third grade, which explains where I spent all my lunch money. I smoked during all seven of my pregnancies. I even smoked during the deliveries, and all of my kids turned out o.k. I think.<br /><br />Our little trailer was always filled with laughter, music, and smoke. Tumble Willis, Jr., my husband, never knew the color of the livingroom walls. He assumed they were smoky dingy, if such a color exist.<br /><br />Of course my love of the ciggy is nothin' compared to my best gal pal, FiFi Krampschlitz.<br />FiFi loved smoking so much that she named all of her kids after her favorite brands. Yeah, there was WINSTON, KOOLS, MARLBORO, CHESTERFIELD, and her little girl, VIRGINIA SLIM.<br /><br />I've been told that FiFi plans to come to my annual Halloween Tupperwear Party this year as a car muffler. Anything for a smoke.<br /><br />Speaking of fumes, my less than scentillating boss, Kenny, did a doodle of BARACK OBAMA, for the WSJ. I know for a fact that Obama is a closet smoker.<br /><br />Your favorite ash kisser, I remain,<br /><br />TRIXIE</div>Trixiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13111291127285934733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9128825437103829527.post-46184896597831581082008-10-07T19:51:00.000-07:002008-10-07T19:54:58.067-07:00TRIXIE...hear me roar !<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3F5iAlkn_Xx4GovxGiD7wSKMmulYC59CUHBoX-NJesyWJFBjrtDnCrKhsc2wMxNzg4qmEhGqiYNBoMYsDuR3W3onpPVpodsOzUo1uuYCZPOb-TtqeoW4XQk8QbQ8O8zhrBo5LiE-T38o/s1600-h/scan0016.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5254611033589392498" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3F5iAlkn_Xx4GovxGiD7wSKMmulYC59CUHBoX-NJesyWJFBjrtDnCrKhsc2wMxNzg4qmEhGqiYNBoMYsDuR3W3onpPVpodsOzUo1uuYCZPOb-TtqeoW4XQk8QbQ8O8zhrBo5LiE-T38o/s320/scan0016.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhANgVlBe0TgrDGDfAjH2misaL4xHlTjviiXu66Lzfld35IjNqBiStTL02XPbTuoMXFhQou3LFLOYpbKCwLQDQPcRwa8Vgu8DUmiKNT9kOiENiN0y3gjgk0NLgSUFlQJysiJNkaBfN6ZvE/s1600-h/scan0017.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5254610858217955026" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhANgVlBe0TgrDGDfAjH2misaL4xHlTjviiXu66Lzfld35IjNqBiStTL02XPbTuoMXFhQou3LFLOYpbKCwLQDQPcRwa8Vgu8DUmiKNT9kOiENiN0y3gjgk0NLgSUFlQJysiJNkaBfN6ZvE/s320/scan0017.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><div><br />My Public,<br /><br />Some of you probably heard that I made my New York cabaret debut this past Friday night, it went off without a hitch, and nobody was hurt or arrested.<br /><br />Last year, in an attempt to break into Show Business, I was all set to make my debut, when the New York Board of Health shut down the club one hour before I was set to perform. I was devastated, but was encouraged by the fact that I was one of the few entertainers to ever be shut down for health code violations instead of bad press.<br /><br />Anyway, I did two well received songs, some personal patter, and not one piece of fruit was tossed in my direction.<br /><br />Several people who witnessed my debut have already begun inquires as to my next appearance. Am I a hit? I dunno, but I want to thank all of the people who trekked over to see me, and with the help of a few stiff drinks, sat up facing the stage and paid attention to my efforts.<br /><br />MEANWHILE, my sober boss, Kenny, ( who claimed to be way out of town last Friday night), did two drawings in the WSJ. PAUL NEWMAN, the late and great actor, and MARY MC FADDEN, the eccentric fashion designer.<br /><br />Your favorite curtain call girl, I remain,<br /><br />Trixie</div></div>Trixiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13111291127285934733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9128825437103829527.post-38892641173580940702008-09-11T10:44:00.000-07:002008-09-11T10:46:20.995-07:00TRIXIE for VP<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEil_ROUolwt0NTkn4uBPUHKDzI6MAEWArdA05hEui40L3hJVlSibLhG_qKykkNND_bSD-hFQKZiJA369VTYmNUlKFWTkt-gcHXCnAzA8Ma31eaBVVFwRtMMFnMpGAYvSwHceeSa2nO5rVs/s1600-h/scan0005.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5244821481032401250" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEil_ROUolwt0NTkn4uBPUHKDzI6MAEWArdA05hEui40L3hJVlSibLhG_qKykkNND_bSD-hFQKZiJA369VTYmNUlKFWTkt-gcHXCnAzA8Ma31eaBVVFwRtMMFnMpGAYvSwHceeSa2nO5rVs/s400/scan0005.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div>Mooseaters!<br /><br />The news media has got my goat. Those brie eatin', chablis drinkin' snobs can't seem to grasp the appeal of a frontier woman like my new hero, SARAH PALIN.<br /><br />I am so impressed with her, and not suprisingly, we have so many things in common.<br /><br />She is married to a slacker named Todd, and I'm hitched to a bum named Tumble.<br /><br />She gave her children unusual names like, "Track", "Stump", "Bristol", and "Easy", and I named my kids after my favorite movies, "Casablanca", "Ben Hur", and "Shaft".<br /><br />She was a beauty queen. I, of course was "Miss Pig's Foot", " Miss Self Cleaning Oven", and<br />"Miss Jiffy Lube".<br /><br />She attended six colleges before she graduated. I dated guys from about sixty colleges and trade schools, but I'm not sure if any of them actually graduated.<br /><br />She is an avid hunter, and can dress a moose in the wild. Well, I'm a bit gun shy, but I was once in love with a boy named "Moose", and was once forced to quickly get dressed in the wild.<br /><br />She began her political career in the P.T.A., which led to the job of mayor of her tiny town.<br />I caused a commotion during a P.T.A. meeting when I suggested a wet T-shirt contest to help raise funds for education. I also ran for constable of my gated community, The Black Lagoon Trailer Park. My motto: " Nobody wants this job, so, give TRIXIE a try". However, even though I ran unopposed, I lost.<br /><br />She is dealing with a knocked-up teenage daughter.<br />Well, I've been down that road so many times I'd call it a thruway.<br /><br />Yes, the small town and small minded women of this country have finally found someone we can look up to and respect. Just you wait!!!<br /><br />And while you're waiting, take a look at Kenny's latest effort. This is his cut paper version of the head of The Port Authority of New York/New Jersey, CHRIS WARD.<br /><br />Your favorite political junkie, I remain,<br /><br />TRIXIE</div>Trixiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13111291127285934733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9128825437103829527.post-9136139355667687822008-08-28T15:11:00.000-07:002008-08-28T15:13:43.704-07:00TRIXIE goes for the gold.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZZhbIJcuJrZbWOZFIzyV8U5_vQk4_ofs3JWA6N2R2vFW0thpGQkIzij7uciHLIQSMkC-SJ3_-Chg2bouPg9sAhSow5APvAeRkQ-AZcFFhK2Zay3TBfnHCw-rIexzPZ3jPbah6Ce6Jb-A/s1600-h/scan0004.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5239695198147061970" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZZhbIJcuJrZbWOZFIzyV8U5_vQk4_ofs3JWA6N2R2vFW0thpGQkIzij7uciHLIQSMkC-SJ3_-Chg2bouPg9sAhSow5APvAeRkQ-AZcFFhK2Zay3TBfnHCw-rIexzPZ3jPbah6Ce6Jb-A/s320/scan0004.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQEhyfo6k2h9HPA1XQGn6awT82EIBmvEYwVj0FEa60xGjsxpu1pOWDp55VrBOrmNFwQZ5bsv__7LuQFKpjTB4ASeBa5zUBO_Fd3rSqF0qqMY3yxfkCsbReqXR27jzrtLrU8IDRKlrdHyw/s1600-h/scan0009.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5239695014933916098" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQEhyfo6k2h9HPA1XQGn6awT82EIBmvEYwVj0FEa60xGjsxpu1pOWDp55VrBOrmNFwQZ5bsv__7LuQFKpjTB4ASeBa5zUBO_Fd3rSqF0qqMY3yxfkCsbReqXR27jzrtLrU8IDRKlrdHyw/s320/scan0009.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><div>Friends ,<br /><br />I am so exhausted from the Olympics . Yes, I am an athletic supporter, but the remote broke on our TV, which meant I had to get up and down to adjust the volume for my old worn out husband,<br />Tumble Willis, Jr.<br /><br />Since we don't actually have our cable box hooked up legally, the reception can be iffy at times.<br /><br />Poor Tumble, his vision is so off, anytime he saw someone dive in the pool he thought it was his first cousin, Droofus. Come to think of it, Droofus and Michael Phelps do resemble.<br /><br />I wonder if the Olympics Committee would ever consider my home town, Pigs Foot, New Jersey, for their next big event? They could use the Pigs Foot High football field, plenty of free parking at the Piggly Wiggly grocery, and I bet the No-Tell Motel would be willing to put clean water in their pool.<br /><br />Oh, boy, if that were to happen, property values would go up, and we could move outa this dump!<br /><br />Kenny, my gold medal employer, did a drawing of the late ISAAC HAYES and SENATOR JOE BIDEN, which ran recently in WSJ.<br /><br />Till we meet again, I remain,<br /><br />Trixie</div></div>Trixiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13111291127285934733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9128825437103829527.post-1321748247256532892008-08-27T14:58:00.000-07:002008-08-27T15:01:52.353-07:00Trixie: MAY I BE BLUNT?<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDIJ_8V746kVq9fm9McJ9C1WNxMj3Ii4OoMaMCajj9N1PhGXxRVJR1v675sjTHAzSdQ04y2N4vTTDAYvVB2H0tt-bYc8HsCaeLeUL0Ynbdwo5eOPllEjxSe5F2SrPyTtLhobANs60LadU/s1600-h/scan0009.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5239320911622115106" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDIJ_8V746kVq9fm9McJ9C1WNxMj3Ii4OoMaMCajj9N1PhGXxRVJR1v675sjTHAzSdQ04y2N4vTTDAYvVB2H0tt-bYc8HsCaeLeUL0Ynbdwo5eOPllEjxSe5F2SrPyTtLhobANs60LadU/s320/scan0009.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGX7IAXYktQYDH8r-vNPe48xfgUgAPjQI03mGzMrZc6oemP32vln5kw_AO9QI2hYmapUkvcwKN91K1-oGkdYvTi_KBrjb8B7wHzRyHuqsu6WpwBaEBl1OKXgEs5HNIoiwg_PdfPz5RIB8/s1600-h/scan0007.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5239320714391347650" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGX7IAXYktQYDH8r-vNPe48xfgUgAPjQI03mGzMrZc6oemP32vln5kw_AO9QI2hYmapUkvcwKN91K1-oGkdYvTi_KBrjb8B7wHzRyHuqsu6WpwBaEBl1OKXgEs5HNIoiwg_PdfPz5RIB8/s320/scan0007.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><div><br />Oh, hello !<br /><br />I've been so busy trying to find Summer jobs for my hateful grand kids, that I hadn't noticed the mail piling up. Seems that several of you have been writing for my worldly advice, and I do apologize for the delay.<br /><br />Meanwhile, I found jobs for those lazy bums, and you'd think they'd be grateful, and you would be wrong.<br /><br />Dear Trixie,<br /><br />How do you get rid of those awful dark bags under the eyes?<br /><br />Thanks,<br /><br />Rhonda Raccoon<br />Dinah Shores, Michigan<br /><br />Dearest Rhonda,<br /><br />A lot of people place thinly sliced cold cucumber slices on top of and around the eye area. This is good, but I take it further and dump an entire Cobb Salad on my face. It removes those ugly bags, prevents snoring, and you never wake up hungry.<br /><br />Dear Trixie,<br /><br />Is it ever wise to lie to children?<br /><br />Nat Leopold<br />Swampview,South Carolina<br /><br />Dear Nat,<br /><br />I've never stopped lying to my kids, with, I might add, mixed results.<br />My daughter, Casablanca, still believes in Santa, the Tooth Fairy, and that babies are delivered by the Stork. She has five kids of her own, so, perhaps it's time to tell her the truth.<br /><br />Dear Trixie,<br /><br />Where can I go to find true love? I am a forty seven year old female, with skinny legs, no hips, dry skin, questionable gums, frizzy hair, tone deafness, and a fondness for Madrigal hymns.<br /><br />Loretta Nutsoyung<br />Stoney End, New Mexico<br /><br />Dear Loretta,<br /><br />There was postage due on your letter, so, you failed to mention that you are also a deadbeat.<br /><br />If I were you, ( and THANK THE STARS I'M NOT!), I would apply to the Peace Corps, a tanker ship, or a job at a Federal Prison.<br /><br />****** MEANWHILE, my boss, Kenny, did two new drawings...Alexander Solzhenitsyn for today's WSJ, and MARIO LOPEZ for....Mario Lopez.<br /><br />Your favorite girl-of-the-month, I remain,<br /><br />Trixie</div></div>Trixiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13111291127285934733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9128825437103829527.post-89255445213320224742008-07-22T10:02:00.000-07:002008-07-22T10:06:33.498-07:00TRIXIE has a TWIN...<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi89HWfpqBQzFGJB6NXF4URFS_5u0q47DikJyj_TPS3XSnbpfwvY6aKwGahWKasBAEIw1EiwQE-YD4AxnT3aInaoXiqeVeutKj0gJ54x-k2cmpY-_ekdrg4yBTCV-XgvQx96jN9SkhjUQ4/s1600-h/scan0010.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5225885819092259378" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi89HWfpqBQzFGJB6NXF4URFS_5u0q47DikJyj_TPS3XSnbpfwvY6aKwGahWKasBAEIw1EiwQE-YD4AxnT3aInaoXiqeVeutKj0gJ54x-k2cmpY-_ekdrg4yBTCV-XgvQx96jN9SkhjUQ4/s320/scan0010.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmaXZsszbvlLpYkTMW3K7lcCjpvdac59WJGF8w8-Mzcgwh7z7D7WxaL7TEybwETZtIFOJ6012rZ2yrYrvpKBvwbdbvNappqmzRsnqOwScitaS6HPV4yztf9zLTV0mE0Z1cJMRDejakn1U/s1600-h/scan0004.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5225885441565033346" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmaXZsszbvlLpYkTMW3K7lcCjpvdac59WJGF8w8-Mzcgwh7z7D7WxaL7TEybwETZtIFOJ6012rZ2yrYrvpKBvwbdbvNappqmzRsnqOwScitaS6HPV4yztf9zLTV0mE0Z1cJMRDejakn1U/s320/scan0004.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><div><br />Darlings !<br /><br />Can you believe this HEAT ? I've resorted to filling the tub with ice cubes and zest of orange peel and soaking for hours. Not only is it amazingly refreshing, but afterwards I smell just like a creamsicle.<br /><br />MEANWHILE,they say that everyone has a twin somewhere in the world. Well, I've seen my twin, and her name is CINDI MC CAIN. Yes, the same Cindi McCain that you know as the younger wife of Senator McCain.<br /><br />I look just like her. Well, that is I would look like her if I had six hundred million dollars and owned a big beer distributing company. Take away the immaculately coiffed and dyed hair, the perfect makeup, the designer wardrobe, and that look in her eyes that says, " I'll be so damn happy when this election is over so I can go back to shopping", and you've got me.<br /><br />She married an older man with dreams, I married a slightly older man with nightmares.<br />Her husband was a prisoner in Viet Nam during the war. My husband was in and out of several prisons during the war, but he never left New Jersey.<br /><br />Beer and booze have played an important part of Cindi's life. Same here.<br /><br />She once rang up a seven hundred thousand dollar credit card bill for one month. Well, I'm capable of such a thing, but all of my cards are currently maxed out.<br /><br />She says little, and always has a pleasant, yet slightly glazed look in her eyes. Yep, me too.<br />WE ARE TWINS !!<br /><br />And speaking of GLAZED, my boss, Kenny, did drawings of the late baseball player/sports announcer, BOBBY MURCER, and actor ROBERT MORSE, featured on television in "Mad Men", and the inventor of the Morse Code.<br /><br />Your favorite snowcone, I remain,<br /><br />Trixie</div></div>Trixiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13111291127285934733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9128825437103829527.post-35913474027070400902008-07-02T14:50:00.000-07:002008-07-02T14:52:08.414-07:00TRIXIE...where have I been???<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUCI3s_mMuL2hrVELXkT6haQkiKKPMybnLua_VxvwNsWp307XEV6PBMaoosnv6kb1w0KN48T01S7ZkloGVDUrnojTL9M_X9tUhuqdr3b3vb7R3HaSsSb3-_srjSJf2NJzyy0KX_8kzjMA/s1600-h/scan0002.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5218537779090138594" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUCI3s_mMuL2hrVELXkT6haQkiKKPMybnLua_VxvwNsWp307XEV6PBMaoosnv6kb1w0KN48T01S7ZkloGVDUrnojTL9M_X9tUhuqdr3b3vb7R3HaSsSb3-_srjSJf2NJzyy0KX_8kzjMA/s400/scan0002.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div>Darlings,<br /><br />I hope you didn't miss me much. I had to take a vacation and get away from Kenny and all of his madness.<br /><br />This year I called my friends at The Twilight Zone Travel and Bail Bond Agency and booked a tour of America's Favorite Federal Penitentiaries. We traveled via "deluxe" motor coach, which turned out to be a refitted yellow school bus, complete with individual folding lawn chairs, personal flashlights, and a camouflage patterned curtain to enclose your private area.<br /><br />There was no "powder room" to speak of, but the driver was usually willing to pull over to the side of the road. Sometimes we even stopped at twenty four hour truck stops.<br /><br />My fellow travelers consisted of prisoner’s wives, girlfriends, mothers, and boyfriends. Their enthusiasm and gaiety helped to make the time fly by.( although I could’ve lived without the constant sound of babies crying)<br /><br />This trip made me feel grateful for my children and assorted husbands, lovers, and one night stands. Yeah, I thought I had it bad till I heard some of their tales of woe.<br /><br />The highlight was a chance for me to purchase refrigerator magnets from every prison we visited. I am now the proud owner of a miniature electric chair, noose, leg irons, and bar of soap.<br /><br />Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Kenny did a drawing of the late, great, TIM RUSSERT, which ran in the WSJ.<br /><br />Your favorite prison matron, I remain,<br /><br />Trixie </div>Trixiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13111291127285934733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9128825437103829527.post-54232248202099648462008-06-10T10:04:00.001-07:002008-06-10T10:07:43.827-07:00TRIXIE is HOT !!!!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLHd77amdSnXaqaS6qzmket5nK1KcljJxeDcM__E9gZ60QVwa4YP1lkkEmoPF77gS6vmLsol2sUojeK-7BjBzNcq8O0dgFWr4N4UPf1TzB-jbNxZoq2ukQZ3HE8f4vccKTRJR0W1Z1GnA/s1600-h/scan0002.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5210300535243719858" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLHd77amdSnXaqaS6qzmket5nK1KcljJxeDcM__E9gZ60QVwa4YP1lkkEmoPF77gS6vmLsol2sUojeK-7BjBzNcq8O0dgFWr4N4UPf1TzB-jbNxZoq2ukQZ3HE8f4vccKTRJR0W1Z1GnA/s400/scan0002.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxWsL4EFTPP0G3LJaL_WS7ucOS3bDYEwPLTXKNS8zcb8s96VlQi3tu01AG7ONjekqbm3BDby148X70av9zQTXuTKrfw1CrtBrhAAfyyvWHe3X8rj2aiKu56Axw7mk9pbaxGhu5WXEd3ds/s1600-h/scan0003.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5210300253467875298" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxWsL4EFTPP0G3LJaL_WS7ucOS3bDYEwPLTXKNS8zcb8s96VlQi3tu01AG7ONjekqbm3BDby148X70av9zQTXuTKrfw1CrtBrhAAfyyvWHe3X8rj2aiKu56Axw7mk9pbaxGhu5WXEd3ds/s400/scan0003.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><div>Yikes !<br /><br />It's hot, darlings.<br /><br />Your Trixie is straddlin' the old rusty air conditioner, waving a Japanese fan in one hand, and flopping her tongue inside a tall glass of ice tea.<br /><br />Kenny suggested a wet T-shirt contest to keep us cool, but I don't want to frighten the UPS driver.<br /><br />Last night a violent thunderstorm hit the trailer park. The winds were so strong that when I awoke to let the dog out, the front door was facing the highway, instead of the parking lot. Fortunately, none of my dishes or knick-knacks was broken.<br /><br />When I looked down at my feet, there sat the soggy remains of "The Pig's Foot Gazette", our local rag. My good eye spotted a headline that sent a cold shiver up my spine, “Local Girl Pens New Bestseller” and the "local girl" wasn't me.<br /><br />Portencia “Pinky” Moscowitz, former cheerleader, graduate of Jimmy Hoffa High School, and The Garden State School of Beauty, has written her shocking new semi-autobiographical book, “DOWNWIND FROM HELL”, to be published by Leopold & Loeb this summer. It has been reported that Warner Bros. put in a decent bid for the motion picture rights, with plans to star Angeline Jolie as Pinky’s mouth.<br /><br />WELL, if that isn’t enough to make my blood boil! However, I will do the right thing and wish that *#$%@ all the best.<br /><br />Meanwhile, my not-so-cool boss, Kenny, did a drawing of former Bush press secretary, SCOTT MCCLELLAN and Tony nominated Broadway actor, MARK RYLANCE for The Wall Street Journal.<br /><br />Your favorite cucumber, I remain,<br /><br />Trixie</div></div>Trixiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13111291127285934733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9128825437103829527.post-19839510390731034612008-05-22T09:49:00.000-07:002008-05-22T09:55:55.031-07:00TRIXIE...tried and true<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxmMBrdCsH2TL02nvW17EBtvqPHsW1zyyaTYc4UU1zgbucfgJAvF3beX0W8Fceb_aofP_oCPTm5kQbAuJNONXwX7hdw1tfhW66Ebdm0yJf1j15tnwHaHOW3lvjF8nCczpI1WUGpMpYjuQ/s1600-h/scan0012.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5203246905404509826" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxmMBrdCsH2TL02nvW17EBtvqPHsW1zyyaTYc4UU1zgbucfgJAvF3beX0W8Fceb_aofP_oCPTm5kQbAuJNONXwX7hdw1tfhW66Ebdm0yJf1j15tnwHaHOW3lvjF8nCczpI1WUGpMpYjuQ/s400/scan0012.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhccBolJYAaN7HbZknllvCO20uI6wHsORv7OgxorHuiFpit5bLT340S9zajFMzctE1VJptRairJ4PPS12P9V8GaBQe_fRGUhIlJ0nNGShM1zkC6JXGQ_HjT3GQuQdKGIdgA8y28gbWGJkg/s1600-h/scan0013.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5203246600461831794" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhccBolJYAaN7HbZknllvCO20uI6wHsORv7OgxorHuiFpit5bLT340S9zajFMzctE1VJptRairJ4PPS12P9V8GaBQe_fRGUhIlJ0nNGShM1zkC6JXGQ_HjT3GQuQdKGIdgA8y28gbWGJkg/s320/scan0013.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCU7kq3f9AWCgMoJfyLW-usw1NGIhr2UWM0tULCu59AHDSjKaLHFYzlEtTJC11rRH5ONpZgTssvi884aIwJODLsUYnqfKQ3uuEpwN76ckNZcc-soCPvUeHuXFTlOXa-Kiu2KDO553pWj4/s1600-h/scan0014.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5203246390008434274" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCU7kq3f9AWCgMoJfyLW-usw1NGIhr2UWM0tULCu59AHDSjKaLHFYzlEtTJC11rRH5ONpZgTssvi884aIwJODLsUYnqfKQ3uuEpwN76ckNZcc-soCPvUeHuXFTlOXa-Kiu2KDO553pWj4/s320/scan0014.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><div><br />Angels,<br /><br />The price of everything is going up and up. So,I look around and try to decide what it is I can cut out in order to save a few pennies.<br /><br />My late husband, Sal Scallopini, made sure that I was well provided for, but I am still cautious and careful. Who am I to be wasteful and set a bad example for those less fortunate?<br /><br />I cut back on trips to the beauty parlor, from four times a week to three and a half. I only use my cellphone when I'm away from the house. I only drive the Caddy in the city. I drink directly from the bottle to save on straws. I recycle my old hair nets to steam clams. When taking a shower, I only sing up tempo showtunes, which speeds up the process quite a bit.<br /><br />Yes, when gas is four dollars a gallon, and they just raised postage by a penny, well, you must force yourself to be frugal.<br /><br />And, speaking of frugal, my boss, old tight wad Kenny did a doodle of the man behind Bloomingdale's, MARVIN TRAUB,for today's WSJ.<br /><br />Saving my gas, I remain,<br /><br />Trixie</div><br /><br /><br /><div></div><br /><br /><br /><div>****PLUS, Kenny did a drawing of Taiwans new President, MaYing-jeou, and just for me, he's letting me show you his Elvis!</div></div></div>Trixiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13111291127285934733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9128825437103829527.post-35242720824249281132008-05-08T18:55:00.001-07:002008-05-08T18:57:42.995-07:00TRIXIE is a MOTHER<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirGnbSkSxm-GLTe-8Eveggnn7CeLnHxDuctTRYWKxUR-fgmtZ0pwX5NZSAs_7i5u8t2lqaQkOKpWioqciOwJEUC4Dk2kQH_rOljE6caLvMgtxJFJ88qdrSMp7EYUwGOs91qFhnm4kfJ2k/s1600-h/scan0003.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5198191304940024850" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirGnbSkSxm-GLTe-8Eveggnn7CeLnHxDuctTRYWKxUR-fgmtZ0pwX5NZSAs_7i5u8t2lqaQkOKpWioqciOwJEUC4Dk2kQH_rOljE6caLvMgtxJFJ88qdrSMp7EYUwGOs91qFhnm4kfJ2k/s400/scan0003.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRKZIhW3UgxFf3xJTB539ev9E-OWC8PDTr6rbCSBkeTsXPfSlz7ypKyoWzaFYdJEwblvmcsjTH6r3nmLD0oCBXyOpC6UfNY-d2M1o1LuIcTIp0U-gnAHJ_yc15wif5B1jNRVhVxcLTaOY/s1600-h/scan0002.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5198191133141332994" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRKZIhW3UgxFf3xJTB539ev9E-OWC8PDTr6rbCSBkeTsXPfSlz7ypKyoWzaFYdJEwblvmcsjTH6r3nmLD0oCBXyOpC6UfNY-d2M1o1LuIcTIp0U-gnAHJ_yc15wif5B1jNRVhVxcLTaOY/s400/scan0002.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><div>My Darlings,<br /><br />I know you find it hard to fathom that I am a mother. In fact, so many people look at my rather large daughter, Casablanca, then they look at me and go, " It's just not possible!"<br /><br />Nonetheless, she is my child, ( oh, the pain...), and I love her. Thankfully, she looks more like her worthless father, Tumble Willis, Jr., so I don't get all the blame.<br /><br />Yes, here it is again, the day to remind me of my reckless ways, MOTHER'S DAY. Yikes !<br /><br />Last year, Casa and I shared an intimate Mother's Day brunch at The International House of Pancakes. She wiped her lips with the embossed paper napkin and spoke, " I didn't get you no gift, but I made up a poom."<br /><br />"Oh, darling," I smiled, " How sweet, but I think you mean a poem."<br /><br />" Whatever", she snarled, as she took a grease stained piece of paper from her pocket...<br /><br />M, is for your cruel MOUTH. You're always criticizing me. Yes, you are...<br /><br />O, is for all of the OTHER mothers out there. They might be nicer than you, and prettier than you, but they ain't you...<br /><br />T, Nobody has a TEMPER like yours. I remember the time you screamed at me for wanting to go steady with Dudley Stillwater. You called him a wimp and a sissy. Well, Dudley loved me, and I loved him. He was the only boy I ever dated who showed interest in me, and not just my body. In fact, he never showed any interest in my body.Today, he lives in his own townhouse, which he shares with his pal, Kyle. And to think, all of that could've been mine...<br /><br />H, is for HAPPINESS, a feeling I felt whenever you were asleep or unconscious...<br /><br />E, is for the ENVY I felt seeing how the rest of the world was living outside of our trailer park.<br /><br />R, is for the REGRET I will always have for not running away and joining the circus, but what did I know about elephants?<br /><br />Put them all together, and it spells, MOTHER, or, a reasonable facsimile.<br /><br />HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY from your hateful daughter,<br /><br />Casablanca<br /><br />***** MEANWHILE, my boss, Kenny, did a drawing of author, SIMON WINCHESTER, and a smiling, BARACK OBAMA, which ran in this past weeks WSJ.<br /><br />Love Ya,<br /><br />Trixie</div></div>Trixiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13111291127285934733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9128825437103829527.post-20563921091391149702008-04-08T06:47:00.000-07:002008-04-08T06:55:33.045-07:00TRIXIE...where seldom is heard an encouraging word...<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXcTQH3MXxWa3jC-HmzAAer_LSqqrVYx3EJx2xI6Gqv3ic7geEzmoxjMfC0TAMne4Z8M-hVGElFV661KQkvsnl98n3OJ21_YOm63GQ5RUHLolOMG0YjUYvUCnViRRDo8xyswV6IGbZOU4/s1600-h/scan0002.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5186872747126071170" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXcTQH3MXxWa3jC-HmzAAer_LSqqrVYx3EJx2xI6Gqv3ic7geEzmoxjMfC0TAMne4Z8M-hVGElFV661KQkvsnl98n3OJ21_YOm63GQ5RUHLolOMG0YjUYvUCnViRRDo8xyswV6IGbZOU4/s400/scan0002.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimXbgSKQZdM9_4i024c-51Cy28clmYz1w2g0iJG_dE0FvPQUMy9MO6QXe-DbQl_bcvAHp7MOc41OLeLnlcYYDF8xM4hQDI0HdK68r5lNZgB4qY6J5ar_evoQUZ6bINRTavZWsIMtPPyi0/s1600-h/scan0003.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5186872510902869874" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimXbgSKQZdM9_4i024c-51Cy28clmYz1w2g0iJG_dE0FvPQUMy9MO6QXe-DbQl_bcvAHp7MOc41OLeLnlcYYDF8xM4hQDI0HdK68r5lNZgB4qY6J5ar_evoQUZ6bINRTavZWsIMtPPyi0/s400/scan0003.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><div><br />Sweet-peas,<br /><br />I am faced with a family crisis. My daughter Casablanca's twin girls, Chandelier and Candelabra, are determined to audition for "American Idle".<br /><br />Yes, I am their granny, and you'd think they'd have some of my gifts, but those two don't have enough talent to fill a flea's navel.<br /><br />How do you tell your own flesh and blood that they suck? I'm not a mean person, but I don't want those two tone deaf, knocked kneed, pock marked, pigeon toed lovelies to suffer the humiliation of layin' an egg in front of billions of people.<br /><br />It's just not like it was when I started out in Show Biz. In those days, if you could walk and fit into the costumes, you got the job. Today everyone is so versatile. I think it has something to do with global warming and the use of steroids.<br /><br />Meanwhile, speaking of pigeon toes, my taskmaster, Kenny-the-hateful, did a doodle of the curator at the Whitney Museum, DONNA DE SALVO, and the late CHARLTON HESTON, ( who once placed his hand on my chest and whispered, " You'll have to remove this from my cold dead hands." And I replied..." works for me, Moses!")<br /><br />Your favorite granny with the great gams, I remain,<br /><br />Trixie</div></div>Trixiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13111291127285934733noreply@blogger.com0