MY FELLOW AMERICANS !
Who are these "undecided" voters? I am never undecided about anything, and have very little patience with those who are. In fact, I've already decided what I will order for dinner next Thursday...meatloaf.
Be that as it may, I have decided to announce my endorsement for President, just in case any of you are of the hopelessly pathetic "undecided".
I,Trixie LaFarge, age 39, lot B-12, The Black Lagoon Trailer Park & Miniature Golf Course, Pig's Foot, New Jersey, hereby endorse JOHN PATRICK MCCAINE for President of the United States.
What can I say? He reminds me of my Dad. He is old, hateful, and will leave your mama for a younger thing at the drop of a hat. Sure, that's rough, but it builds character. McCaine will watch out for America the way he watched out for his first wife. If America has an accident and get's a bit overweight, He will dump us and hitch up to a younger, prettier, and richer nation.
We would all benefit.
Obama is way too smart for me. How can I relate to him? He's too impressive, and that scares me. Bush never impressed me. I felt very comfortable with George W. I like a President I can relate to. ( and vice versa!)
If mcCaine croaks, and Sarah Lee Palin takes the throne, well, once again I'll feel safe and comfy.
Now, let's not let politics cause a rift in our relationship. I'll still love you, even if you're a socialist/commie/liberal, it just won't be easy.
Meanwhile, my pinko/stinko boss, Kenny, did a drawing of actress, ELISABETH MOSS, for the WSJ.
Remember, vote early and often !