Mooseaters!
The news media has got my goat. Those brie eatin', chablis drinkin' snobs can't seem to grasp the appeal of a frontier woman like my new hero, SARAH PALIN.
I am so impressed with her, and not suprisingly, we have so many things in common.
She is married to a slacker named Todd, and I'm hitched to a bum named Tumble.
She gave her children unusual names like, "Track", "Stump", "Bristol", and "Easy", and I named my kids after my favorite movies, "Casablanca", "Ben Hur", and "Shaft".
She was a beauty queen. I, of course was "Miss Pig's Foot", " Miss Self Cleaning Oven", and
"Miss Jiffy Lube".
She attended six colleges before she graduated. I dated guys from about sixty colleges and trade schools, but I'm not sure if any of them actually graduated.
She is an avid hunter, and can dress a moose in the wild. Well, I'm a bit gun shy, but I was once in love with a boy named "Moose", and was once forced to quickly get dressed in the wild.
She began her political career in the P.T.A., which led to the job of mayor of her tiny town.
I caused a commotion during a P.T.A. meeting when I suggested a wet T-shirt contest to help raise funds for education. I also ran for constable of my gated community, The Black Lagoon Trailer Park. My motto: " Nobody wants this job, so, give TRIXIE a try". However, even though I ran unopposed, I lost.
She is dealing with a knocked-up teenage daughter.
Well, I've been down that road so many times I'd call it a thruway.
Yes, the small town and small minded women of this country have finally found someone we can look up to and respect. Just you wait!!!
And while you're waiting, take a look at Kenny's latest effort. This is his cut paper version of the head of The Port Authority of New York/New Jersey, CHRIS WARD.
Your favorite political junkie, I remain,
TRIXIE
The news media has got my goat. Those brie eatin', chablis drinkin' snobs can't seem to grasp the appeal of a frontier woman like my new hero, SARAH PALIN.
I am so impressed with her, and not suprisingly, we have so many things in common.
She is married to a slacker named Todd, and I'm hitched to a bum named Tumble.
She gave her children unusual names like, "Track", "Stump", "Bristol", and "Easy", and I named my kids after my favorite movies, "Casablanca", "Ben Hur", and "Shaft".
She was a beauty queen. I, of course was "Miss Pig's Foot", " Miss Self Cleaning Oven", and
"Miss Jiffy Lube".
She attended six colleges before she graduated. I dated guys from about sixty colleges and trade schools, but I'm not sure if any of them actually graduated.
She is an avid hunter, and can dress a moose in the wild. Well, I'm a bit gun shy, but I was once in love with a boy named "Moose", and was once forced to quickly get dressed in the wild.
She began her political career in the P.T.A., which led to the job of mayor of her tiny town.
I caused a commotion during a P.T.A. meeting when I suggested a wet T-shirt contest to help raise funds for education. I also ran for constable of my gated community, The Black Lagoon Trailer Park. My motto: " Nobody wants this job, so, give TRIXIE a try". However, even though I ran unopposed, I lost.
She is dealing with a knocked-up teenage daughter.
Well, I've been down that road so many times I'd call it a thruway.
Yes, the small town and small minded women of this country have finally found someone we can look up to and respect. Just you wait!!!
And while you're waiting, take a look at Kenny's latest effort. This is his cut paper version of the head of The Port Authority of New York/New Jersey, CHRIS WARD.
Your favorite political junkie, I remain,
TRIXIE
No comments:
Post a Comment