I have returned from my thrilling adventure in the South Seas, and I'm tan, toned, and taut.
It was exciting, really, as I took in the sights, smells, and sounds of these tiny little islands on the edge of civilization. You witness these remote places, and you realize how far we've come, or not.
Of course I was a big hit with the local natives. They could only marvel at the way I applied my slightly natural looking make up, the way I wore exotic colors to match my moods, and the fake DKNY pocketbooks I sported. You would think, by their childlike giggles, that the invention of nail polish was as important as penicillin!
Tattoos are very big, at least among the men. Major body parts are covered in detailed designs, none of which I could understand. However, I made a point of lowering my fuscia cargo pants to show them my body art. A lovely red heart on my left buttock, with the inscription, " YOU ARE HERE".
Speaking of minor body parts, my boss, Kenny, is still showing up at the drawing table, when he's not eating or sleeping. His most recent doodles include, RICHARD ARMSTRONG, the new head of the Guggenheim Museum, PRESIDENT OBAMA, BLAKE EDWARDS, and the late playwright, HORTON FOOTE.
Your favorite pu-pu platter, I remain,