Wednesday, July 2, 2008

TRIXIE...where have I been???


I hope you didn't miss me much. I had to take a vacation and get away from Kenny and all of his madness.

This year I called my friends at The Twilight Zone Travel and Bail Bond Agency and booked a tour of America's Favorite Federal Penitentiaries. We traveled via "deluxe" motor coach, which turned out to be a refitted yellow school bus, complete with individual folding lawn chairs, personal flashlights, and a camouflage patterned curtain to enclose your private area.

There was no "powder room" to speak of, but the driver was usually willing to pull over to the side of the road. Sometimes we even stopped at twenty four hour truck stops.

My fellow travelers consisted of prisoner’s wives, girlfriends, mothers, and boyfriends. Their enthusiasm and gaiety helped to make the time fly by.( although I could’ve lived without the constant sound of babies crying)

This trip made me feel grateful for my children and assorted husbands, lovers, and one night stands. Yeah, I thought I had it bad till I heard some of their tales of woe.

The highlight was a chance for me to purchase refrigerator magnets from every prison we visited. I am now the proud owner of a miniature electric chair, noose, leg irons, and bar of soap.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Kenny did a drawing of the late, great, TIM RUSSERT, which ran in the WSJ.

Your favorite prison matron, I remain,


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