My darlings,
My six year old granddaughter, Dijon, asked me to represent her during “career day” at her little school, and I was delighted. She would have invited her mother, my daughter, Casablanca, but she had used up all of her sick days at the carwash.
Anyway, the kids were so cute. I didn’t take a video camera that day, but I did borrow an audio tape, which I have transcribed here to give you a taste of my experience.
Little Dijon got up to introduce me:
“Everyone, today I am very proud to introduce to you my Granny, Trixie. She is a wonderful person, and although nobody seems to know her exact age, she looks pretty good when she leaves the beauty parlor.
Granny has done and been many things in her long, long, long life. She was a carhop, a waitress at a twenty four hour truck stop, a showgirl in New York and Las Vegas, an alligator wrestler, a foot model, a bookie, an extra in Hollywood, a salesgirl at Saks, a secretary, and a great humanitarian.”
So, I get up and face this adorable crowd of tiny people, and before I could say a word of my prepared speech, the questions started to fly:
“Do you think the dress you’re wearing is appropriate for daytime?
“How much money are you worth?”
“Was Abraham Lincoln a good kisser?”
“Are you a natural blonde?”
“Was furniture important to your success, and what exactly is a casting couch?”
“How many times have you been married?”
Well, before I could answer more than one or two questions, my time was up, and I had to leave the little tykes and head for the nearest bar.
Anymore questions?
TRIXIE
My six year old granddaughter, Dijon, asked me to represent her during “career day” at her little school, and I was delighted. She would have invited her mother, my daughter, Casablanca, but she had used up all of her sick days at the carwash.
Anyway, the kids were so cute. I didn’t take a video camera that day, but I did borrow an audio tape, which I have transcribed here to give you a taste of my experience.
Little Dijon got up to introduce me:
“Everyone, today I am very proud to introduce to you my Granny, Trixie. She is a wonderful person, and although nobody seems to know her exact age, she looks pretty good when she leaves the beauty parlor.
Granny has done and been many things in her long, long, long life. She was a carhop, a waitress at a twenty four hour truck stop, a showgirl in New York and Las Vegas, an alligator wrestler, a foot model, a bookie, an extra in Hollywood, a salesgirl at Saks, a secretary, and a great humanitarian.”
So, I get up and face this adorable crowd of tiny people, and before I could say a word of my prepared speech, the questions started to fly:
“Do you think the dress you’re wearing is appropriate for daytime?
“How much money are you worth?”
“Was Abraham Lincoln a good kisser?”
“Are you a natural blonde?”
“Was furniture important to your success, and what exactly is a casting couch?”
“How many times have you been married?”
Well, before I could answer more than one or two questions, my time was up, and I had to leave the little tykes and head for the nearest bar.
Anymore questions?
TRIXIE
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